“Planning the wedding for a guy you’ve been dating for two months. Things are looking good, but it’s still way too early to plan.” So says my friend Melissa, and I had to share her brilliant analogy. Although, wait, you’re not supposed to plan a wedding after you’ve been dating someone for two months? This is news to me! (Kidding, people. I’m kidding).
Anyway. Melissa has a point, only because even though the White Sox are leading the AL Central, almost everyone is still conceding the division to those pesky Tigers.
Also, Mel suggested that I write a whole book about why baseball is like dating but I don’t think I know enough about, as Hawk would call them, “the good ole’ fundamentals” (beyond the obvious and overused strike-out/home-run analogies) to do so.
I could give it a shot though.
Why Baseball is Like Dating:
- The strike zone will change depending on who you ask — I’ve seen umpires magically change their strike zones (no I am NOT implying favoritism, how dare you) and the same can be said for dating prospects – depending on who you’re with, one date might knock it out of the park while the next one might ricochet the ball off his/her foot and have to go on the disabled list. Wait, I went from talking about the strike zone to hitting foul balls? See how I’m proving my earlier point (reference: fundamentals, I know nothing about)
- Everything is going great until it’s not…or something — You know how you can be on a really great date (or up 9-0 in a baseball game) and then you blink and it’s three weeks later and you haven’t heard from the person (or wound up losing 15-9)? Yeah.
- It’s important to be able to close — I don’t need to elaborate on this one, do I?
- You have to be in control – one thing I’m learning is that pitchers need to have command of their pitch location, i.e. control (I think, bear with me people). When Philip Humber is off on his pitch location, Detroit will hit four HRs off him in an inning. It’s also important to exercise and maintain control in the early stages of dating. And I don’t mean control as in controlling the other person, I mean more along the lines of the self-control option (like refraining from rushing home after a first date and calling to leave a VM including the top 10 things that happened on that date while simultaneously friend requesting them on Facebook. Take a step back and wonder how that will affect whether or not you get a second date).
- When times get tough, don’t give up! (This specifically pertains to last night’s scrappy yet much-needed 9-6 victory over the Yankees).
- I have now given up on coming up with additional analogies.
A Series of Very Bad Decisions 