I am participating in two fantasy football leagues this year for the first time since ever. I tried this once in 2004 but used my first draft pick on Clinton Portis and it was all downhill from there. I came in dead last and have avoided it ever since. But, this year, I’ve been sucked into two different ones, both through Yahoo! (which drafted for me since I apparently cannot be trusted) so I figured I’d provide a breakdown/analysis since I’m obviously going to win both leagues (yeah, right).
Team One: Vick in a Box
QB: Drew Brees – Woohoo! A top-5 QB! Second to only Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady! (wait…what?). Threw for 5,476 yards and 46 touchdowns last season. Just signed a bajillion dollar contract. Seems legit!! I couldn’t possibly lose one game with such a stud behind center.
WR: Larry Fitzgerald – Another steal! Both Pro Football Weekly and National Football Post have him as the #2 WR in the (fantasy) league. Plus, he represents the Big East before it fell into ruins and had to beg for San Diego State to join. Solid option!!
WR: Brandon Marshall – Were he still with the Dolphins, this would make me dry heave into a paper bag, but since the Bears have reunited him with Jay Cutler, I see a lot of receptions in his 2012 future. It’s like Yahoo KNOWS me.
WR: Jeremy Maclin: Never heard of him. Played for Missouri, is with the Eagles, had six TD receptions last season. PFW has him ranked #32. I’d rather not. Can I trade him for one of the Alabama WRs? Yes, no, maybe?
RB: Arian Foster – BOO-YA! #1 baby
RB: Adrian Peterson – This would hurt less if he didn’t play for the Vikings. Gag.
TE: Antonio Gates – Okay, maybe I’m starting to see why I should not be allowed to draft. With the exception of Marshall, I would not have picked any of these guys, and the more “research I do” (as in, looking at their rankings and nothing else) the more I realize this is a GREAT team. AND I didn’t even pre-rank players before the draft. How do you like THEM apples?
PK: Mason Crosby- Another top 5/6 player.
DEF: Baltimore (Alternate: Seattle)
Bench: Kenny Britt (WR), Michael Vick (QB and WEIRD given the team name), Frank Gore (RB and representing DA U), Vincent Jackson (WR), Brandon Pettigrew (TE)
Team Two: Brady Gaga
QB: Matt Stafford – I guess. I told one of my colleagues I was less than thrilled with this and he was all, “are you kidding?” I guess I was?? I think it’s just because I don’t like the Lions or Ndakiaijqeakmfasd BeatsEveryoneUp.
WR: Roddy White
WR: Hakeem Nicks
–Here I’ve been blessed with two top-10 WRs even though Hakeem Nicks DOES play for the Giants, a team that IS my arch-nemesis for what they’ve done to the Patriots (TWICE) in the Super Bowl.
WR: Miles Austin – I suppose the odds were nearly impossible for me to NOT get a football player who hasn’t slept with Kim Kardashian.
RB: LeSean McCoy – Rushed for 17 TDs last season. I can dig it.
RB: Ryan Mathews – Fine
TE: Fred Davis – Fine
W/R/T: Maurice Jones-Drew – Fine
PK: Mason Crosby – wait, really? Again?? Where’s the variety, YAHOO!???
DEF: Pittsburgh (Alternate: Seattle)
Bench: Kenny Britt (AGAIN? WR), Michel Vick (QB and wait, is this a JOKE???), Roy Helu (RB), Robert Meachem (WR), Sidney Rice (WR), Owen Daniels (TE)
In conclusion, the developers at Yahoo! built a much better system for drafting than I ever could. Should be interesting to see how my teams do. Expect weekly updates! (not really)
A Series of Very Bad Decisions 