Bitch, Shut Up!

This week has really produced some gems from certain celebrities that I hate and want banished to a deserted island for all of eternity.

First, we have Kim Kardashian basically saying going through a divorce is like surviving cancer.

Here is what she word vomited at us (via Complex):

“… [W]e decided to film for the wedding,” she says. “And that was a decision that [Kris Humphries] and I made together. But I think that, with any decisions in life [brace yourselves], like, I spoke to a girl today who had cancer and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. She’s 18. And I was like, that’s how I feel.”

Really?  Do you have ANY idea what it’s like living with cancer?  This should ESPECIALLY not come out of her pie hole because her dad died of cancer and she should know better.  Yes, divorce is painful and awful and I’m sure DOES teach you who your friends are.  But don’t play the cancer card when 1) your fake marriage lasted for less than three months and 2) it’s not actually life threatening.

She should know better.  Who is her publicist?  Someone needs to give that girl a lesson in what not to say, stat.

Then we have everyone’s favorite Train Wreck, Lindsay Lohan, equating “owning” a Birkin bag and Mac as “fighting to live your dreams. No, really.  Check it out:

I use the word “owning” loosely because she probably stole both of them.  Since she can’t even be bothered to show up on time to film her one scene for Scary Movie 5, how the hell can she afford a $30,000 purse (which, by the way, looks like it was dipped in a bucket of Pepto Bismol and glitter)?

I know that writing about the idiocy of these people won’t make them go away, but I wish they would.  Kim is a no-talent ass clown and Lindsay is a delusional, coked-out whore in desperate need of a solid year or longer of intense rehab and therapy.

I wish they would both just SHUT UP AND GO AWAY.