Anatomy of a Boy Band, Part 2 – What Not to Wear

I know, I know, ANOTHER boy band post, but yesterday when I was watching videos on YouTube before meeting up with friends for a delicious sushi dinner, I came up with the idea for this post.

The band boy love ballads were very popular among teenage/college girls. You know, the whole “I’ll love you forever and ever” theme we all strive for in our real lives assuming we survive the minefield that is dating. But I digress.

One of these said ballads, “Drowning,” by the Backstreet Boys, is one I listened to on repeat in college. Don’t judge me. Okay, fine, judge me but at least finish reading this blog.

Apparently, there were TWO versions of the music video for the song, one of which took the drowning metaphor WAY TOO FAR. And made some horrific fashion statements. Behold:

First of all – a mesh shirt? Really? I’m not entirely sure what’s on A.J.’s neck, but it looks like a dog collar and combined with the facial hair, he looks like he belongs dancing in a cage at an after hours club on South Beach.

Then we have Kevin:

I find his eyebrows offensive and I’m pretty sure that he looks like he is begging to be in the sequel to The Crow. Is there a sequel? Oh, who cares.

Howie looks like if Cousin Balki was trying to Live La Vida Loca (god, I’m really dating myself here. Oh, who cares, I’m 31 and there’s not a thing I can do about it. Except turn 32.) and Nick is all, “welcome to Slytherin. I’m Professor Snape’s secret love child with Harry Potter’s mum.”

“Okay fine, there WAS no sequel to The Crow? What about The Matrix? Can I be in The Matrix?”

“Oh fuck it, maybe after this video shoot wraps I WILL go dance in a cage somewhere.”

“I mean it – don’t fuck with Slytherin!”

And then there’s ‘N Sync.

This isn’t bad fashion so much as they look like they are hung over at brunch rather than vowing to love someone forever.

However:

I have to assume the reason this chick looks so disgusted has nothing to do with him taking a call during their little picnic lunch and everything to do with his hair. My god the hair. When did that EVER seem like a good idea?

Here’s a better look:

That is just…I don’t even know. This is Chris and I always considered him and Joey Fat One the least attractive of all the boy band members in all of history and that hair is really not doing him any favors.

I wouldn’t call this “fashion” of the late 1990’s and early 2000’s but more would call it “WTF were their stylists thinking?”

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