30 for 30

Last year, The Huffington Post republished a story that Glamour magazine featured in a 1997 issue – “30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30.”

I am not here to regurgitate the entire list, but rather to comment on the ones that stuck out for me. Either link above will bring you to the full list. And yes, I am qualified to do this since I am now over 30. (*chugs vodka*)

Things you should have:

• One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. Surprisingly, I have both. I wasn’t sure I would have someone I could imagine going back to, but that’s not true at all. So even though I have both, the ratio is slightly unbalanced: 1 I can imaging going back to, 8675309 who remind me how far I’ve come.
  
• Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. Yes to the man, not sure about the employer. I have many options but not sure I could be ready that quickly, what with things having to match, and be ironed, and fit properly.
• A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. Um, hello, why do you think I’m writing a book?
• One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. I am so lucky to have MANY of these.

Things you should know:

• How you feel about having kids. This is so, so, SO important, and you need to be on the same page with your significant other on this, no matter what the page is. And I know where I stand, so that’s good. Actually no I don’t. Yes, I do! Shut up! YOU shut up! Okay, it’s a hard decision to make, luckily not something I need to worry about anytime soon.
• When to try harder and when to walk away. I have definitely improved here – sometimes you just can’t fix whatever it is you’re working on – a job, relationship (if I just stick it out he’ll eventually realize that…No. No he won’t. He won’t realize anything), book (hey, I’m BUSY, it happens), etc. But knowing when to hold ’em, fold ’em, walk away or run is super important.
• How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.  For REALS – y’all need to have this mastered.
• How to live alone, even if you don’t like to. No issues here whatsoever. Living alone is the bomb dot com (yes, I really just wrote that. Deal with it. Is “not giving a shit what other people think” on this list?”)
• What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love. I think Meatloaf is the only person who knows this…
• Why they say life begins at 30. I think I FINALLY get this. You’re not as self-conscious as you were in your 20’s (maybe not you, but definitely me), you aren’t broke and trying to make a box of pasta last for a week, you understand that what people think of you doesn’t matter, that you think about it more than they do, the world is not out to get you and the paranoia over thinking that goes away.

I sometimes still struggle with not being 22 anymore, what with all the mistakes I’ve made and wishing I could have do-overs. But that is what makes us who we are, I suppose, and wishing things had turned out differently will never make that actually happen.

Do I wish I had handled the entire year of 2008 differently? Sure. Can I do so in 2013? Pretty sure I cannot. One of my biggest regrets was blowing off this super cute lawyer I met in San Diego because I was adamant about only dating people who didn’t actually like me. Do I wish I had answered my phone that day he called to ask me out to dinner? Yep. Can I? Nope. Part of getting older is just learning to let go, and for god’s sake relax a bit. No one makes life more complicated than humans. You don’t see apes green lighting shows called Stage Moms or Double Divas, do you?

Also, this is all how we should feel about getting older: