Now I’m a Delilah caller

I used to listen to Delilah in high school/college, though I am not sure why. But I feel like all her calls are one of two extremes: some over the top in love person rubbing it in our faces, in which D will play one of three songs she keeps in rotation, or the person that just had their heart wrenched out of them through their feet and feels like there is no other option than to call this random bitch and tell her and then she goes and plays some stupid irrelevant song like “Somewhere Out There.”

Last night, I told Bachelor #3 we needed to take a break. He sent me a text that, while was completely a joke, made me extremely upset because of the intent behind the text. It was that wake up call I needed – he would be FINE with me dating other people, while the thought of HIM dating other people is like

So, after I calmly told him that we clearly weren’t on the same page and I had to jump ship, I lost my shit in the parking garage. But at least I didn’t cry on the phone.

It’s for the best, because the more we hung out, the further in I fell, while he stayed in the same place. Plus. I don’t know. I don’t get what he sees when he looks at me. Gisele, I am not. I look in the mirror, and see

which means the constant stress of worrying that eventually he’ll realize I’m a 5 AT BEST was totally cutting in to my fun.

So, it sucks, but it had to happen. And now….?

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