It’s that time of year again

I have not been paying as much attention to college basketball this season, for a variety of reasons, but I have some things I want to say about Wichita State, which is that I am sick of them. Yeah, great, they’re undefeated, good for them. They play teams like William & Mary and North Carolina Central. Yes, I know, they won all the games they were supposed to, and now they’re a No. 1 seed. They even made the Final Four last year as a 9-seed. Well, I have a rebuttal for that, and have prepared a speech that you can feel free to steal, should you ALSO have them losing in the round of 32 in your bracket, which inevitably spawns looks as if you’re insane:

Wisconsin really helped them out by losing to Ole Miss, who lost to LaSalle, AND the committee helped them out by giving Gonzaga a 1-seed, which should never happen. So they beat an 8-seeded Pitt, an overrated Gonzaga and then LaSalle to get to the Elite 8, so basically none of that counts.

Troll me if you wish, but that’s just how I feel.

Reva out.


A Q & A with myself: Who will I root for on Sunday?


Well, it’s finally happened. After people suggesting it MIGHT one day happen, and me just rolling my eyes, Miami and Illinois will play each other on Sunday, with the winner advancing to the Sweet 16.

(For the new kids at the table – I did my first two years of undergrad at Da U, and the second two at Illinois.)

I have fielded many angry comments suggesting I have no choice but to root for the Illini since that is where my degree is from. But it’s not that simple! So, I decided a Q&A to get to the bottom of this might help.

Q: Why would you even CONSIDER rooting for Miami?

A: Miami is a traditional football school but has struggled for about the past nine seasons thanks to Larry Coker driving the program off a cliff. The basketball team has never made it past the Sweet 16 and they have had an amazing season. I would like to see them go all the way. The team is having fun and playing hot. Did you NOT see what they did to Duke in January?


A: I understand your frustration. Truly, I do. You are right in that I was miserable there and left. What you may NOT realize is that my first semester at U of I was so difficult that I considered going back to Miami. My mom warned me, and I DID NOT LISTEN, that transferring to a new school as a junior would be very difficult. Not academically, but socially. You’re new, but everyone else has been there for two years and has established their group of friends. Trying to find my group was hard. I lived in a transfer dorm with mostly grad students, who were mostly pretty mean. My roommate smoked pot in our room. I thought these people were my friends and they weren’t. (Except for Jim and Matt)

It was frustrating, and then 9/11 happened, and I just wanted to be with my friends, but I didn’t really have any yet. So I cried a lot and thought that maybe I made the wrong choice in leaving Miami and was it REALLY that bad? I mean, once I knew I was leaving, I actually started to have fun there because I had the “don’t give a shit” attitude that I should have had all along.

So, because I got off to a rough start in Champaign, I feel less attached to the school than someone who spent four years there. Even though it DID get MUCH better, that first semester was HELL.

Q: Okay, great! It got better. So you’re rooting for Illinois, then.

A: I didn’t say that. And that wasn’t a question.

Q: You’re infuriating. What if it was ‘Nova playing Miami or Illinois? Let’s throw your precious Villanova into the mix and see what you do, bitch!

A: This is like a bad game of marry, fuck, kill!

Hmmm, let me see.

Miami vs. Villanova

Illinois vs. Villanova

I’d root for……


A: That was also not a question.

Q: No, seriously, you’re rooting for Illinois, right?

A: How about this – no matter who wins, I will be happy, and we’ll leave it at that?

Q: No, pick one. Now.

A: Fine – but you won’t like my answer


Q: When Miami loses I am going to laugh so hard at U. HAHAHAH SEE WHAT I DID THERE? I’M SO FUNNY.

A: Sigh.

Well, that was fun. Though, I did mean what I said in that no matter who wins, I will be happy. Both teams deserve to advance.


No one likes a whiny bitch


I wrote this piece today for Awful Announcing in regards to the whiny Duke bitch who complained about how she was treated during last week’s Duke vs. Miami game. The game was in Coral Gables.

Michelle Picon went to Duke undergrad but is a Miami grad student and was sitting in the student section wearing Duke gear. I’m not sure what she was expecting to happen, but any non-uppity, non-self important bitch would KNOW that when you wear the away team’s gear on the home team’s turf, you’re not exactly going to get a warm welcome from the fan base.

Here are just of the few things Duke fans have done to visiting teams and their fans – but you wouldn’t know it reading the letter Picon wrote to the Duke Chronicle. The way she portrays it, Duke fans are nothing but the most exemplary of fans that never offend or heckle the opposing team. Yeah. Right.

In the ultimate show of hypocrisy, the self-proclaimed Cameron Crazies can dish it out but certainly can not take it.

Listen, I moaned and whined and claimed outrage over how we were treated in Columbus when we invaded the town in our Miami gear for the UM/OSU game. We got completely blasted by the Buckeyes, so not only did we have to deal with the loss, but we had to deal with very much being kicked while we were down.

So yeah, when the wounds were fresh back in September of 2010, I was pissed off. But you really have to have a thick skin when you’re a sports fan. That’s just the way it is. Suck it up.

I am of course not condoning any of the violence that happens outside stadiums, what with people getting stabbed, shot and beaten.

It’s just a game, people. Yes, it’s a game we’re vehemently passionate about, but is it worth stabbing a fan of the opposing team over it? Will that make your team win? Are those good manners or bad manners?

In any case, Picon did her school and fan base NO FAVORS by basically living up to every single stereotype that comes with attending Duke.



What to do when you don’t care about either team in the Super Bowl


Your options are as follows:

  1. Skip watching the game altogether and host a Sex and the City wine viewing party.
  2. Go to each team’s roster and add up the number of players who went to your alma mater plus the school you transferred from and whichever team’s total is higher that’s the team you root for. Active players only – no practice squad, folks.
  3. When you realize the result is a 3-3 tie, come up with a tiebreaker – root for the team with the fewest players from Ohio State (or whichever school you hate the most). In this case the Ravens are the clear winner: 0 to SF’s 4.
  4. Run this scientific formula by a random jackass 49ers fan who will tell you it sucks and the Ravens are going to get blown out.
  5. Realize that thousands of people are spending the entire week in New Orleans promoting and covering this game from more angles than the Kama Sutra. Again begin to philosophize the importance of sports and why we invest so much time, money, energy and emotion into them.

I’m not saying sports aren’t important – on numerous levels, they are. But when you’re NFL team got bitch slapped out of the playoffs (even after a 10-6 season), it’s easy to be bitter and uninterested. Will I watch it anyway? Of course – if for nothing else – the commercials will be interesting and hopefully not awful.

On the bright side, no matter what happens, it can’t be as excruciating as the 2008 Super Bowl where the Patriots botched 19-0 and then of course last year when the Giants once AGAIN had their number. There is something to be said for being able to watch a sporting event stress-free.


What I really think of Notre Dame

This is what I used to think of Notre Dame: It’s was America’s school. The benchmark for Catholicism and greatness, located in idyllic South Bend, IN, it was known for its excellence both in the classroom and on the field/court/pool, whatever. I had high school friends who applied there just to say they had – that they would even consider Notre Dame must mean they were striving for the same level of excellence the school is known for. Everyone wanted to go there, teach there, play there, donate to there and be part of that reputation.


Why do we idolize athletes? Both college and professional? Because they represent us. We grow up rooting for our home town NFL teams (for those of us who had them) or the team our parents grew up rooting for – and because of that, these athletes represent us. If they win, it means we win, our city wins, we’re above the losing team and city. We feel glorious and validated and hopeful. If they lose, we hurt with them and feel morose and start pointing fingers. We lost because of bad play calling. We lost because of poor clock management. The offensive coordinator is a douche bag.

Finding the right college is hard. We strive to find the perfect combination of location (after all, you’re there for the next four years) academics, opportunities, Greek life, and athletics. Potential athletes are wined and dined and everyone’s effort goes in to convincing them your school is better than my school. Non-athletes go through campus tours and talking to current and former students. How much financial aid will I get? Will I still be paying for this degree when I’m 65? How will this school look on my resume?

And then we choose. And the first thing that happens when you get there is football. Take the incoming freshman to a football game so they can see what the school is all about. The players aren’t just students. As a team, they shoulder the school’s reputation – if they win, we win, if they lose, we lose. Losing means criticism from ESPN on down to the dorm newsletter. And so we win and lose with them. And maybe that’s why people will go to extreme lengths to protect the athletes, and by proxy, the school’s reputation.

This isn’t about me, but I am going to use myself as an example.

I am originally from New Hampshire. The only school that I thought about going to when growing up was Michigan, because my mom went there. Then, when it was actually time to pick, I wanted to go south. I wanted a break from brutal New England winters. And so, I ultimately chose the University of Miami. It sits in the middle of Coral Gables, a lush campus with palm trees lining the entrance. I picked it for that reason, knowing nothing about the football team. I lasted two years there. I was miserable, the girl walking around campus in jeans and a long sleeve shirt because I was so self-conscious about my body. I felt like I was at a day spa rather than a college. I longed for something more normal. And so I transferred to the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign in the fall of 2001. A school that could not have been more different. That was the season Miami started its undefeated run. And because I was at a new school and lonely, I latched on to that success, that greatness, as if I were still a part of that school. Because even though I left, I still had friends there and memories there and was a part of something there vs. that first semester at U of I when I struggled like I could never have imagined. So I rode the coat tails of a perfect season all the way to the Rose Bowl because it gave me something to focus on and made me feel special, important, and bonded with everyone else who was still there.

We spend months dissecting a season. When it’s over, we start planning for the next one. It’s our school and those are our players and we want to be represented by winners, not losers.

So when they lose, the excuses come out. And when the players fuck up, the excuses come out.

Which brings me back to Notre Dame and this whole Manti Te’o fiasco with the fake dead girlfriend.

While I am not sure what to believe in terms of how it happened and who is behind it, I do not, for one second, believe Te’o to be the victim in all of this.

Pat Forde, of Yahoo Sports, who I do respect, wrote a column in which he believes Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick’s declaration that Te’o was duped:

Chin quivering and voice catching, the Notre Dame athletic director fought emotion in describing Manti Te’o as “the single most trusting individual I have ever met.” 

Yeah, whatever dude.

Forde also writes:

Swarbrick says a private investigator hired by Notre Dame to look into the matter has evidence that Te’o was victimized by individuals who invented an online girl and engaged her in a relationship with the player. Due to privacy concerns, the school is not in a position to release that evidence, but hopefully Te’o will provide some documentation that corroborates what Swarbrick said.

Te’o must also explain why he said he met Lennay Kekua, when that apparently never happened. He must explain why his father, Brian, also said the two met. He must explain why, if he felt for this dying girl the way he reportedly did, he never left the Notre Dame campus to be with her near the end – not at the hospital, not at the grave. He must explain why he went along with the storyline instead of publicly correcting the record, even after telling his coaches and Swarbrick about the hoax on Dec. 26.

Here is what I think: I think Te’o was a part of this whole thing – who dates someone for three years and NEVER meets them, but says they met? Your team plays Stanford every year where your alleged girlfriend goes and you’ve never met her?

Outkick the Coverage makes some excellent points about this:


If you believe there is a straight man on earth not currently in prison who has a three-year exclusively online relationship, then you’re a damn fool.


There’s just no way this actually happens.

Especially for a college kid who happens to be the best player on a football mad campus.

Exactly – when he probably had thousands of options, why would he pick someone in Palo Alto that he never sees?

Which brings me to their next point:

What’s more, she purportedly canceled several face-to-face meetings with him. At some point if you’re remotely intelligent — or even just a horny college student — don’t you start to question a relationship when your online girlfriend won’t meet you?

I don’t know if Te’o made her up so he could fake her death and triumph in football for the feel-good emotional story of the year. The media was falling all over themselves to laud him with praises and now they’re failing all over themselves to beat this to death and find the truth and Jack Swarbrick is crying over a fake dead girl versus an actual dead girl.


Which brings me to how I NOW feel about Notre Dame: I feel nothing but disgust over an AD that is crying and claiming his football player is a victim, when he said NOTHING about Lizzy Seeberg, the St.Mary’s student who committed suicide after being sexually assaulted by a Notre Dame football player. It can’t be that he’s not crying because she didn’t go to Notre Dame. The fake dead girlfriend went to Stanford. It’s because Notre Dame will do anything and everything to protect their precious football program and players, no matter how horrific their actions.

I love that the team was curb stomped by Alabama. I love that their egos were flattened. I have nothing but disgust for a school that has scrambled to hide multiple sexual assaults (hello, Notre Dame? Do you REALLY want to be compared to Penn State?) but claims one of the football players is the victim of a scam. And if Te’o was really fooled, who has that kind of TIME, to create a fake person and keep that façade going for three years?

I hate that Notre Dame is now scrambling to protect their own players when they refused to protect victims of sexual assault. Because when your football team shoulders your reputation, you’ll do anything to protect it. And that, maybe, is the saddest thing of all.