Things I Do Not Understand

Currently sitting here watching Sleepless in Seattle in amazement. Not just because it’s totally condoning stalking, but also because they keep dropping words like “fate” and “magic” and then Meg Ryan asks, “Is this crazy?” And Rosie O’Donnell answers, “No, that’s the weirdest part about it.”


Fate does not exist and there is no such thing as magic. (Hello – my reservation is under Bitter & Jaded, party of one.)

Listen – I am all about seizing the moment and following you heart and all that jazz, but flying across the country to knock on someone’s door who you’ve never even exchanged DMs with on Twitter? Not cool.

This movie is less realistic than Joe Versus the Volcano, when they trick Tom Hanks into thinking he’s dying and he and Meg Ryan wind up jumping into a volcano and surviving to save some random tribe.

I have seriously horrible taste in movies – I love the best, worst movies. Like today, at my friend Kate’s bridal shower, we were talking about the movie Someone Like You, which is GOD AWFUL, yet somehow I own it (probably plucked it out of the 2 for $1.00 bin during a Blockbuster sale).

If you ask me what my top five favorite movies are, they probably are not romantic comedies, because I really don’t believe in everything falling into place that neatly at the end. I know movies do it so as not to leave you hanging and because they need to provide a resolution, but real life just doesn’t work that way (at least mine doesn’t).

For the record:

1. Adventures in Babysitting (it’s a classic and if you don’t agree, bite me. I mean, “don’t fuck with the babysitter!?” Classic)

2. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead (see explanation above – “I’m right on top of that, Rose!”)

3. The Fugitive (partial to movies that take place in Chicago and this one was so well done)

4. Shawshank Redemption (can’t watch the end without crying)

5. Twister (I have no explanation)

Some people are wondering if my book will have a happy ending or not. Maybe the ending will just be me finally realizing I deserve better than what I’ve been settling for in the past – and knowing that will lead me to make better decisions.

After the latest fiasco with Tad Hamilton, I’m more convinced than ever that I’m never getting married. But I’m so used to being alone, it’s fine. It’s not like I’ve always been in a relationship and being alone is a new thing.

But back to my original thought about this movie – unrealistic in so many ways, yet the core of it – finding your “soul mate” – makes sense. If only it were as easy as the movie makes it out to be.